Comics Onomatoepeia: Axel Alonso Joe Quesada Marvel Comics Tom Brevoort
by Graeme
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From The Marvel Vault… of Emails!
(Last of the Onomatoepeia essays. This one was so bad that we stopped doing them from then on…)
Leaked during Marvel Comics’ relocation to new offices in New York City, these interoffice emails came from a hacked server, and reveal the truth about the creation of new series at Marvel these days, and just how the Black Panther ended up taking over Daredevil’s monthly book.
From: Joe Quesada
To: Tom Brevoort, Axel Alonso
Subject: BP Reboot?
Hey guys, Disney execs have been breathing down my neck about this whole diversity thing. They say that too many of our comics center around white guys in New York city, and that we should be doing something for everyone else out there. Apparently that whole Women of Marvel thing and using Luke Cage isn’t enough. What do you guys think about doing something with Black Panther? He hasn’t been seen in a long time, so I think he could really make a splash if done right.
From: Axel Alonso
To: Tom Brevoort, Joe Quesada
Subject: RE: BP Reboot?
Joe, you know that we’re still publishing a Black Panther comic, right? That’s what Doomwar is. It’s a Black Panther comic.
From: Joe Quesada
To: Tom Brevoort, Axel Alonso
Subject: Re: RE: BP Reboot?
Wait, Doomwar is a real comic? I thought you guys were joking when you were talking about that at the last retreat. We’re really doing an event book about Black Panther versus Doctor Doom? WTF? No-one’s going to read that. It’s like United Nations The Comic Book. Is it really all about vibranium and who has the right to trade it? You weren’t just making that up?
From: Axel Alonso
To: Tom Brevoort, Joe Quesada
Subject: RE: Re: RE: BP Reboot?
Joe, I wish you’d said all of this back when we first pitched it to you, instead of slapping me on the back and calling it “classic.”
From: Joe Quesada
To: Tom Brevoort, Axel Alonso
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: BP Reboot?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING. I WAS SAYING IT WAS A CLASSIC JOKE. Jesus, we really published a comic about a fight based in vibranium trade? There’s a reason no-one liked the Star Wars prequels, guys, and it’s because of all the trade crap. Was this Hudlin’s idea? It sounds like Hudlin’s idea.
From: Axel Alonso
To: Tom Brevoort, Joe Quesada
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: BP Reboot?
Hudlin’s been off the book for more than a year, Joe. It was written by Jonathan Maberry. He’s a novelist.
From: Joe Quesada
To: Tom Brevoort, Axel Alonso
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: BP Reboot?
I swear that you just make these guys up, Axel. Everytime I turn around, you’re telling me you’ve got some best-selling novelist I’ve never heard of to write Punisher or Deadpool or whatever. So, is Doomwar almost over? I want to bring T’Challa back to New York.
From: Tom Brevoort
To: Axel Alonso, Joe Quesada
Subject: Re: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: BP Reboot?
We’re spinning a new Panther mini out of Doomwar. Also, T’Challa’s not the Black Panther anymore. It’s his sister, IIRC.
From: Joe Quesada
To: Tom Brevoort, Axel Alonso
Subject: Re: Re: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: BP Reboot?
Oh, come ON you guys. His sister? What’s her name, T’Chili? Why do you people never tell me this stuff in advance?
From: Joe Quesada
To: Tom Brevoort, Axel Alonso
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: BP Reboot?
Okay, I’ve decided. We’re making T’Challa the Black Panther again and we’re bringing him back to the MU properly. You can do whatever you want to with T’Chili as long as she doesn’t interfere with the real BP.
From: Axel Alonso
To: Tom Brevoort, Joe Quesada
Subject: RE: Re: Re: Re: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: BP Reboot?
It’s okay, Maberry’s writing that series, so no-one will see it. What are your plans for the T’Challa Black Panther? Are we putting him back in Avengers?
From: Joe Quesada
To: Tom Brevoort, Axel Alonso
Subject: King Of New York
Here’s what I’ve got for the T’Challa reboot: He’s the king of the jungle, right? And New York is the urban jungle. So we make him the king of NY. He can invade and take the city over and it’ll set up an exciting new status quo where all of New York is ruled by this African jungle guy and he’ll have African jungle rules and he can guest star in all the books and Disney will have to STFU about diversity then. We can call it BLACK REIGN because it’s like DARK REIGN, but he’s black, see?
From: Tom Brevoort
To: Axel Alonso, Joe Quesada
Subject: Re: King of New York
I don’t know, Joe — I think we’ve already covered the dictator idea pretty well with Dark Reign, and T’Challa’s not actually the king of the jungle, he’s the king of a technologically-advanced race who has shown on numerous occasions to be smarter than almost every other character in the Marvel Universe short of Reed Richards and Tony Stark. I hate to say it, but I think we might need to come up with another direction for this one. Maybe something that ties in with The Heroic Age, or something that’s happening in another book, so that it feels more organic?
I do like the idea of a banner title, though. Maybe something to tweak DC? How about “Black Panther: Blackest Knight”? That is high-larious.
From: Axel Alonso
To: Tom Brevoort, Joe Quesada
Subject: RE: Re: King of New York
I’ve got it: Wakanda is invaded by vampires, and T’Challa is the only one to escape alive. He flees to America to try and find some allies in an all-out war between the superheroes and an entirely vampire Wakanda. We could call it Curse of The Africans. I know this great novelist who could write it.
From: Joe Quesada
To: Axel Alonso
Subject: Stop trying to make fetch happen
No more vampires. I told you already, X-Men books only. They’ll sell no matter what. I’m not ruining my Black Panther reboot with Twilight crap.
From: Axel Alonso
To: Joe Quesada
Subject: RE: Stop trying to make fetch happen
There’s more to vampires than Twilight, Joe. I worked at Vertigo for years, I know this stuff. Don’t mess with me on vampires.
From: Tom Brevoort
To: Axel Alonso, Joe Quesada
Subject: Re: RE: Re: King of New York
What other events do we have going on right now? I almost wish Loeb’s Hulk was still happening, we could’ve spun six months out of “Who Is The Black Hulk?” easily. Chaos War doesn’t seem like a good fit, and I’m not sure we could do anything with what’s going on in either Avengers book. I’d suggest we loop Bendis in, but he’s busy on that Moon Knight reboot you gave him, Joe.
From: Joe Quesada
To: Tom Brevoort
Subject: Bendis Moon Knight
You guys have to stop listening to me when I’m drunk. Even Brian won’t be able to sell a Moon Knight book.
From: Axel Alonso
To: Tom Brevoort, Joe Quesada
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: King of New York
What if we make him the new Daredevil? Shadowland is finishing soon, so we could lose Matt Murdock for a few months and reboot him down the line. BP could take over in Hell’s Kitchen – Is that urban jungle enough for you, Joe?
From: Joe Quesada
To: Tom Brevoort, Axel Alonso
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: King of New York
I LOVE IT!!! It seems to come out of nowhere until you realize that BP’s ears are a little like DD’s horns, so it all makes sense! Axel, you’re a genius, and I take back what I said about vampires. Try a new Sub-Mariner title with vampires and see if it works as a reward. The only thing I want to add is that T’Challa should cement his standing in Hell’s Kitchen by opening a diner. Make sure there’s a diner, okay?
From: Axel Alonso
To: Tom Brevoort, Joe Quesada
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: King of New York
A diner? Isn’t he royalty? Couldn’t he just come in and stay as some kind of diplomatic regent in a hotel?
From: Tom Brevoort
To: Axel Alonso
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: King of New York
Axel, let him have this one. Remember what we discussed: If we let him have one every now and again, he stops asking so many questions about everything else we’re doing. Why do you think I let him do One Moment In Time with Spider-Man?
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