Ring Ring. Ring Ring. Hello?

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- Date: Friday, August 28, 2009 Time: 6:05 am Category: Uncategorized Discussion: 1 Comment

If I am ever captured, for some currently unknown reason, by some currently unknown parties, and it is decided, for yet more currently unknown reasons, that I have to be interrogated and put through some unspeakably cruel psychological torture, then one thing about that whole scenario is known to me: Exactly what form the torture that will ultimately break me will take.

I shall be forced to wait for a phone call.

It sounds ridiculous, I know, but on the rare occasions when I know that I am going to be called by someone but I don’t know what time, and I can’t call them just to make it happen sooner - Usually, this will be some kind of “official” phone call, like a work thing, or a doctor, or whatever - the entire day before the call happens becomes completely wasted. Instead of doing anything productive, I start purposefully making myself “busy,” but it’s the kind of “busy” that means lots of small, ultimately meaningless distractions instead of anything actually useful. But, dammit, don’t those pillows need plumping?

After enough of this that even I’ve become distraught, I then turn to the more-unsuccessful-than-you’d-think theory of just staring at the phone, willing it to ring. Amazingly, this usually fails to produce the desired effect no matter how intently I gaze, but I fail to learn from my experiences, and keep doing it for far too long nonetheless (On the very rare occasions that it does ring at this point, I inevitably drop the phone in surprise).

Finally, I try and convince myself that the phone call is never going to happen: Oh, it’s 4 o’clock, that’s far too late, why would they call now? Oh, well, I think, and try to trick myself into acting as if everything is normal, just to break the strange pause I’ve placed myself on. It never really works, though: I can’t take a couple of steps without turning around, nervously, and looking back at the phone.

Which doesn’t ring.

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Hello! Remember our interview at Comic Con on great sci-fi books? It’s running this weekend on 89.3-KPCC in Los Angeles (Saturday at noon) and posted (and downloadable) at http://www.scpr.org/programs/offramp/2009/08/29/books-thatll-blow-your-mind/

Cheers, and thanks again.

– John

1 John Rabe, KPCC's Off-Ramp August 28, 2009 10:52 am

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About me.

In case you haven’t guessed by the title of the website, my name is Graeme McMillan. You may have seen me elsewhere on these internets, in places like io9 (where I write and, on weekends, wear the editor’s hat), Savage Critics or even old haunts like Newsarama or even Fanboy Rampage. In case you can’t tell, I like words.

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